WACK! Caught!
by vintagedoxy
Summary: [Mir:San] One shot. Miroku has been hit by a demon that brings out his darkest secrets..


**Title: **WACK! Caught!  
**Author: **Rachel Elizabeth  
**Email: **ceramicprincess (at) fanfiction (dot) net  
**Status: **One Shot, maybe continuation later  
**Genre: **Romance/Comedy  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Warning: **Dirty thoughts ensue.  
**Summary: **Miroku has been hit by a demon that brings out his darkest secrets..  
**Proviso:** I don't own Ranma, either. Mrr..  
**Author's Comments: **A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Yanno. Mostly Sango internal thoughts about what that darn corrupted Houshi could be thinking. Most of the internal stuff is in italics. Just FYI. Lots of Houshi-sama leering. Good stuff. This is _right_ before "The Cursed Arrow" I forget the name of that one, but it's after Kikyou says "Don't take Kagome with you". Oops, did I spoil something? Evil this is for the true IY fans who read the manga. Thank you. And before you review and say "Hey! That's like Ranma." Yes, that's where I got the idea. I just thought it would be cute to have the IY cast have the same er—troubles.  
**Feedback: **Kudos to the people that take time to do so.**  
Dedication: **To Ranma, my love.

* * *

_—The connoisseur of bottom-groping—_

He leered at Sango suggestively. Sango looked back and sure enough, there he was leering at her for the hundredth—thousandth—no, she had lost count, time. So what was so amazing about her backside? She wanted to know because it had been absolutely driving her nuts. He never leered at _Kagome_ that way, but she supposed that Inu Yasha would bop him upside the head and call him "bozo". _That Houshi . . . he makes me so mad._

Kagome was irritated, and the monk wasn't helping the situation and Shippou was on Kagome's shoulders asking when the next time Kagome would go home and Kagome kept muttering something incoherent, but Sango translated it to be, "Soon, if that darn Inu Yasha doesn't get back from seeing Kikyou." Kagome was beyond irritated and it didn't take Sango long to figure out that she just wanted to be alone. That made her think; however, maybe she just needed some "girl-talk" as she liked to so eloquently put it.

"Kagome?" Sango asked hesitantly.

The ire that came off of Kagome, came off in waves and Sango stepped back. Kagome just muttered, "C'mon Shippou, let's go find him." And off they bounded to find Inu Yasha and his woman.

Or you know, not because Sango didn't think Kagome could possibly be thinking "Inu Yasha's woman" and—_there he went again! _Every single time Kagome and the gang left and she was left to deal with Miroku he did a look that clearly stated that he was going to try to grope her.

Sango wondered idly if he realized his tactics had been figured out. Then she would look at him and realize that it wasn't a tactic, it was just his stupidity coming through. He slowly started advancing towards her and when he was a scant breath away, Sango jumped not having realized it sooner and he stated in his stoic face, "I am not a suspicious—"

Sango sighed and interrupted, "Monk. I know." She looked at him and belatedly realized that he wasn't even listening to her, instead he was slowly creeping his hands around her to pet her derriere . . .

"Houshi-sama!" she said angrily and he jumped back and fell onto the ground. Kirara mewed in back of them and Sango blushed fervently realizing they weren't alone as they had thought, or as the Houshi had thought. The Houshi looked up at Sango unabashedly and stood, like always he was not going to apologize for something he felt that he hadn't done. Sango couldn't _believe_ the gall of that man!

A sharp object whizzed by her shoulder, made a bruise and she winced and cried out. The Houshi was immediately by her side concerned for her welfare, but seeing nothing, asked, "Sango-chan?"

"Hou—Houshi . . . " she mumbled out through the pain in her brain. Instead of the object flying back around and hitting her other shoulder it appeared above Miroku's head as a small ball-shaped youkai and Sango frowned. She didn't know what it did, but it definitely couldn't be goo—

The small youkai dodged as fast as it could into Miroku's body and instantly, Sango looked at him worriedly and noticed that he had grown horns on the top of his head. Instead of killing her or hurting her as she had suspected him to do, the monk just leered harder at her and picked her up in his arms.

* * *

"It's a WHAT?" Kagome yelled at Myouga-jiji. 

"A desire-demon is what we call it here in the fifteenth century. It goes into a person's body and makes them do whatever they _truly _desire from the bottom of their hearts. It has to be inside the village somewhere."

Shippou looked stunned. And off the three went, having forgotten Inu Yasha, to go back to the village to find the one with horns.

* * *

Sango didn't like the even more lecherous look the Houshi had been giving her. Unlike before, the looks that he had started giving her had seemed as though they had become even _more_ lecherous since that demon had entered his brain. Sango was rapidly trying to fight against the Houshi, but one thing could be said for him, he was no weakling. Miroku laughed. "Do not worry so, Sango. I am not a suspicious—" 

Sango sighed, "If you say that one more time I am going to take my hiraikotsu and hit you several times upside the head." He grinned at her and Sango realized that nothing palpable had been changed about the monk. He was still lighthearted and he still was trying to grope her and his looks were _still_ lecherous.

Then things changed, when they got to a small hot spring Miroku untied his robe and grabbed the belt. His inner robes were kept on, making Sango's maidenly virtues not become too indignant over the indiscretion, but she didn't know what he was going to use his belt rope fo—

_He tied me up to a tree! I can't believe that irresponsible Houshi just—_

Miroku laughed at the expression plainly visible on Sango's face and groped her bottom once playfully. "Do not worry, now you won't have to worry about keeping up appearances." Sango choked. _It is just like that Houshi to think that the only reason I don't like him touching me is because I want to keep up my maidenly appearance. Well, that's all fine but I _am_ a maiden and nothing can—_

_ Oh Gods. Is he nibbling on my earlobe?_

Sure enough, the Houshi was playfully tugging at her earlobe gently with his teeth and sucking on it. His hands were locked around her waist comfortably and he was using a full-body contact that Sango didn't know even existed.

_ My blood is tingling. What is this? I feel like I'm floating on air . . . he isn't even really touching me and yet . . . I see stars around his head and lights._

"Houshi . . . what . . . are—you—" Sango stopped breathing. Miroku had gently started tugging on her robes to get better access to the skin beneath and when that happened the air left Sango in a dash. Miroku stood back and that lecherous grin was back on his face as he looked at the completely nude beauty in front of him tied to a tree.

"Do not worry, Sango-chan, I am—"

Sango narrowed her eyes at him and glared as hard as she possibly could to discourage him from saying anything. The only thing she wanted him doing right now was giving her back her clothes or doing that full-contact body thing that—

"Oh," Sango breathed out sharply. Miroku was grasping her by the waist and had lifted her legs to wrap around him to hold on to as sort of an anchor. He was kissing a light trail down her throat that made her feel like her insides were on fire and she swore that if he didn't fix that _feeling_ she was having she was going to hit him later! Softly he teased one of her nipples with his hand _not_ holding her bottom and tugged and suckled on it.

_ Still playing with my bottom, eh, Houshi? _Instead of being alarmed and outraged as per usual, Sango amusedly looked down at his face. He was paying very close attention to every detail on her body that was tingling and he found erogenous spots on her body that tingled more than others and Sango's eyes grew as big as saucers at that.

Finally, finally, when he had thought that she had had enough he brought his hand down to the one place on her body that was heated the most and gently coaxed it to respond to him.

Sango was floating, she was more than floating, she was in absolute utopia. She saw over the edge of the cliff she was climbing and it was beautiful but despite this beauty, she was scared. Scared of what was to happen to her if she fell off—

"Sango, enjoy it. Climb higher. Do not think about it, it's just you and I now."

With those softly coaxing words, Sango fell down the cliff that she had climbed and panted. Slowly she opened one of her eyes and saw the Houshi looking at her through veiled and lusty eyes. Cautiously, she opened her other eye and looked at him.

_ WACK!_

Kagome had come up behind Miroku and hit him as hard as she could over his head. The little youkai that had made a home inside of Miroku had grown, but not very much. He looked disgustedly at the body he had just occupied and flew overhead of Kagome and back towards the village. Instead of waiting for Sango's inevitable wrath, Kagome ran to where she had left Shippou in the village with Myouga-jiji.

The Houshi looked at Sango amusedly and announced, still holding her against the tree with her legs wrapped around him, "Well, this is interesting." And he playfully groped her beautiful bottom.


End file.
